But this is the new reality of HIV. Stably controlled virus, time for me to accumulate a number of other conditions to make my life a little more difficult. At least I still have my mind, if not the body that I wanted to have when I was in my 30s.
The big things I am dealing with now are psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis, both of which can really only be effectively treated with medications that are immune suppressive (no thanks, I have that covered!), plus the effects of being very overweight : hypertension (controlled with meds), mechanical problems with my knees (won’t be doing anything about that anytime soon). I guess I just have to own the sloth and gluttony, but that for me has always been a part of being kinder and more forgiving to myself, made concrete in the form of self-indulgence.
But like I said, I really didn’t plan to live this long, so sacrificing for longevity isn’t on my to-do list.
The other thing that this age is bringing upon me is the whole retirement issue. Of course I didn’t plan for it, not expecting to be here. Earlier this year, I let go of an earlier strategy to delay my public pension claims until I could maximize the benefit (age 70), when I realized that if I die earlier I will have contributed all my life and the benefit will revert to the general funds of the government. No thanks! So I am collecting pensions and continuing to work, consigning the pension payments to tax-reducing retirement savings that I just set up this week (better late than never?). I figure that if I work to age 70 as I plan, I will be able to have a double pension from 70 to 75 and surely I won’t live longer than that!
Working until 70 also gives me the next 5 years to prepare to be replaced in my work. Like I sais in a recent reprise of my Je suis seropo video, I will leave the job, but not the work. As the fight against HIV and for the rights of people living with HIV or those the most at risk of it are too important to me to adandon.
Hey, how about my video? Here it ism in French only:
And my last lab results from 15 August (I also had a blood draw last Friday, but it’s a little early for results today).
CD4
count: 246
CD4 %:
27
And someone
in the lab cleverly didn’t do a viral load test, but an HIV test instead, so I
have no result for that.
This is also the evolution of HIV today: neither I nor my doctor are very worried about not having the viral load result, as I am good with taking my meds and, like I keep saying, stably treated.
I would be more upset if I were still out there “on the market” because the application of criminal law to the issue of non-disclosure of HIV status requires proof of a low (<200) viral load every 4-6 months. I would be disclosing anyway, as I don’t really have much to risk beyond rejection (job, home, solid support network…).
I might have to raise a stink if the lab repeats its error, however….
