They Can’t Kill Themselves

The Allen Ginsberg character, as a freshman at Columbia, is so disdainful of structured, metred poetry, how could I resist the temptation to review this film in the form of a sonnet?

Columbia seems far too staid a place
To spawn a revolution in the word
But from the moment LuLu showed his face
The rumblings of a radical were heard

We see the user muse in action fast
A party, uninvited guests and all
His current benefactor prey, his last?
Another germinating in the hall

With Bill the young, who sounds like Bill the old
And Jack, the dashing ne’er-do-well, but bright
The drugs, the antics, plots and schemes unfold
The prey drowns softly, helplessly this night

The user muse a loser muse, not nice
He even fails to kill himself, and twice

But still, I am moved by an uncanny depiction of William S. Burroughs as a much younger man than I am used to, with the voice and cadence I have heard recorded for myself, and a scene that makes his literary approach more concrete for the viewers. I have to re-take that sonnet in Burroughs’ cut-up style.

Columbia seems far too staid a radical were heard

We see the moment LuLu showed his last?
Another germinating in action fast
A party, uninvited guests and all
His current benefactor prey, his face
The rumblings of a loser muse, not nice
He even fails to kill himself, and schemes unfold
The prey drowns softly, helplessly this night

The user muse a loser muse, not nice
He even fails to kill himself, and schemes unfold
The prey drowns softly, helplessly this night

The user muse a revolution in action fast
A party, uninvited guests and twice

I used the cut-up engine found here for this exercise. Well, it seems that Blogger didn't like my link (page required java and came with all kinds of warnings. I recommend following the link from my other William S. Burroughs themed post to find a wealth of different resources for text manipulation.

Falstaff: The Keystone…Merry Wives of Windsor

I have to confess that I was a little worried about how I would feel about this opera after the first scene of the first act. The music was not all that catchy or pleasant, the set not particularly exciting, the character certainly not at all sympathetic. By the end, however, I had listened to treats for the ears, laughed out loud much more than once, and even gasped at the beauty of some of the later sets. I strode into the fresh clean fall air a satisfied opera-goer once again.

I love telling the stories of the operas I see, and this one is no exception. The pompous Falstaff, a knight of apparently insufficient means, plots how to lay his hands on more resources, and possibly some pleasant female company along the way. He is full of his own importance and supremely confident in his allure — much more confident than anyone else is with the same subject. He sets his eyes on not one, but two married women of means as his tickets to providing himself with ample resources for his debauched life. He pens two letters professing his affection, one to each of the two women with very little creativity, substituting names, but repeating the rest of the content. The friends who ride his coattails refuse to serve as messengers and the letters are sent by page.

The two women are good friends, and it doesn’t take long for them to compare letters, mock their would-be suitor, and cook up a ruse to embarrass him in his clumsy self-assurance. Mrs. Ford arranges for another friend, Mrs. Quickly, to carry to Falstaff the news that she is indeed interested, and that her husband is predictable absent daily between 2 and 3 o’clock. Falstaff sets about preparing himself to go courting the married Mrs. Ford.

Meanwhile, Mr. Ford has also got wind of Falstaff’s intentions and is determined to catch Falstaff (and his wife!) in their tryst. He arranges to have himself introduced to Falstaff under an assumed name and takes with him a gift of wine, which the intemperate Falstaff accepts with pleasure. He goes on to brag to his new benefactor of his upcoming conquest of Mrs. Ford, much to the well-disguised chagrin of her husband.

There’s a little side plot going on by this point, too. The Fords’ daughter Nannetta has been promised in marriage to the elderly (and wealthy) Dr. Cajus, but she is in love with the young and handsome (and presumably much less wealthy) Fenton. Her father sternly warns her against seeing Fenton, but her mother seems to tolerate her liaison quite well.

We are now inside the Ford home. The ladies’ plot is about to come to fruition and all is arranged. Falstaff arrives to woo Mrs. Ford, who resists coquettishly, and then suddenly her friend Meg (object #2 of Falstaff’s ill-intentioned affection) appears. This is the ladies’ plan: embarrass Falstaff by revealing their reciprocal knowledge of his multiple advances. No time to dwell on that, however, as Mr. Ford returns home unexpectedly with a whole posse of men, determined to catch his wife and Falstaff in what he thinks is a real affair. Falstaff at first hides behind a screen, then in the clothes hamper. Nannetta and Fenton take up residence behind the screen, where their audible kissing draws the attention of Ford and his men, who think it is Falstaff and Mrs. Ford. The reveal is not necessarily more pleasant for Mr. Ford, who again threatens his daughter to avoid the company of Fenton, as she is promised to the doctor. As they search more rooms in the Ford home, the ladies summon servants to empty the contents of the laundry hamper out the window into the river below.

We cut to a bitter Falstaff trying to dry himself off, and Mrs. Quickly arrives to reassure him of Mrs. Ford’s affection and to arrange a midnight tryst in the park, near a tree named for the Black Huntsman. After much convincing, Falstaff agrees to go, dressed as the huntsman.

More preparations are underway on the other side of this latest ruse, however, with the preparation of costumes to make some of the party look like various spirits and fairies to give Falstaff a good fright. But wait! Yet more deceit, as Mr. Ford, determined to put an end to Nannetta’s wanderings, plans to marry her to the doctor while they are in costume in the park at midnight. Mrs. Ford, however, hatches her own plot with her friends to allow her daughter to marry young Fenton, arranging for him to wear the same monk costume that the doctor will be wearing, and arranging a surprising decoy to be dressed as yet another fairy queen (the costume of her daughter).

Mrs. Ford meets Falstaff, but quickly runs off when she hears the sounds of the approaching “fairies”. Falstaff hunkers down under the tree, determined to avoid looking the fairies in the eye. His silly fear is revealed, as are his impure intentions, and Falstaff manages to fabricate a claim to fame in all of this as, in his words, the rest of them would not seem half as clever were he not on the scene. Hmmm. He might want to rethink that line of reasoning.

Ford sets about carrying out his own plan. He starts to marry the doctor and the fairy queen, when another couple emerges in costume, also wishing to be married. Mr. Ford obliges, only to discover that he has married his daughter to Fenton and the doctor to…Bardolfo, one of Falstaff’s [male] servants! [#TeamBardolfo I was compelled to tweet at this point, or as close to this point as good manners would allow.] Falstaff is happy to step back in, proclaiming that everything in the world is but a jest.

Jean-Michel Richer plays Bardolfo. Where is my doctor disguise?

Well, I do go on about the twisting and turning plot, don’t I?! Shall I get to what ought to be the substance of a review? There was some excellent singing on stage, and more than a little bit of well-acted slapstick humour as well. I thought it got off to a slow start, as I didn’t really enjoy the songs of the first scene, and the slapstick was kind of understated, which is surely contraindicated. There is not much the company could do about the music — that’s Verdi’s fault — and I’m happy to be able to say that it got better, and quickly (yes, a reference to the character, too). The women and the men developing their respective plots to expose Falstaff gave us some lovely and upbeat tunes and chorus singing, which I always enjoy. Then when Mrs. Quickly went to Falstaff’s apartment to communicate Mrs. Ford’s "interest” in him, the slapstick qualities truly emerged with great aplomb. The husband’s posse’s search of the house looked like a scene directly out of the Keystone Cops, as they rushed from room to room, barely missing the object of their pursuit. The music and the singing from then on was quite interesting and enjoyable.

A special note for the sets. I often gauge my appreciation of the sets by the level of my desire to live within them. Not so much this time. The scenes in Falstaff’s apartment were kind of disappointing, and these elements were rearranged and added to for the interior of the Ford home. The addition of a staircase and a couple of pieces of furniture did improve it a bit. At the beginning of Act III — Falstaff’s drying off after his river adventure — I was blown away by a very simple, but beautiful and effective set. A series of wooden fences that offered places to hide behind and/or peek over, with a richly lit background. Very lovely. And then when Scene II of Act III began, I think I actually gasped aloud at the beauty of the solitary and majestic oak tree, again with only a richly lit screen in the back: perfect for the scene in the park at midnight.

It must be a testament to the production that a two-and-a-half hour opera with a single intermission (plus a couple of short pauses) at the end of a long day left me feeling invigorated, not tired, and my friend and I strode happily into the night to get to our respective homes. It’s a win, for sure, and on the level of the plot, I am always glad to see pompous fools called to account for their behaviour.

Cinema Cinquains, Four

I have again fallen behind in my movie reviews! This time, I catch up with a different form of structured verse, the cinquain. Five lines of two, four, six, eight and two syllables, respectively. I remember writing one of these in my grade twelve English class...a few years ago, that must have been.

Up there
Constellation
is a shiny city
that the filthy dare not dream of.
Unlock!

I can’t
decide which sad
life I disliked the most.
No wasted compassion means no
tear drops.

Happy
little girls get
victimized. Which will win,
homespun “justice” or the real law?
*Whistles*

A time,
desperate time,
where initiative will
get you further than the science.
Just live!

PR12E14 Charmeuse and Coffee

I am more than a little behind on watching and reviewing this one, but I have a lovely excuse, as I was in Paris last week for meetings. The two big TV events there were news stories — a controversy over a young Roma girls removed and deported with her family while she was on a school trip and a bitter primary battle in the Parti socialiste for the party candidacy in the race to be mayor of Marseilles. Enough of that and art and stuff, and back to what really matters: American wannabe designers in reality TV!

We start with a flashback of Helen being eliminated and then a lovely little “gather ‘round” moment with Tim underlining the specialness of the occasion. They will be off for one last visit to Mood — budget of $250 — because of the classy “Tide Pod” Challenge, creating a washable look that will bump one of their other looks from the runway. This pushes them to head off in search of such sought-after fabrics as “blends” and “poly blends”. A shudder makes its way up my spine.

Upon return to the workroom, they have a quick detour through the hair department, especially since Justin got severely criticized for his models’ hair last week and Alexandria seemed convinced that her braid look didn’t turn the judges’ cranks either (although I don’t recall that). I saw some extreme volume in the making!

Tim visits and has some general chatting with the contestants. He calls Bradon’s collection “sexy”, but I will have to go with Dom’s judgement on this one. She is curious to see what the judges will make of it, because she thinks it just looks old. I see so few pieces that I actually find pleasing that I would probably have as much trouble as Bradon in choosing which look to toss to make room for the “washable” one, but I suspect our hesitations are not coming from the same place.

For Dom, Tim reminds that the scale of the prints she is using means that it is very important for her to be symmetrical. The he turns and points to one dress and says how nice it looks in the middle, but that it gets “all janky” on the sides. Let me just say that I don’t get the big graphic print thing, especially if it is organized symmetrically, which is reason number 453 that I am not a teacher/mentor at design school, I guess. I am also not fond of Bradon’s interpretation of spring in old-lady florals, but I don’t think that disqualifies me from the aforementioned career in the wearable arts.

I’ll have to go with Alexandria’s comment about Justin’s collection. She says he has elements that are very innovative, but wonders if it is the garments or only the 3-D printed jewellery. I have to say those plastic pieces looked very interesting at the outset, especially with the “sound wave” back story, but they are losing their novelty in their ubiquity. Still loving the sound wave patterns on some of the outfits and, oddly enough for me, the paint-splattered pieces as well. So I’m not totally anti-print in the end.

Alexandria is a bundle of nerves and self-doubt at this point. She frets that Nina will see most of her tops as “another dumb t-shirt”. Tim helpfully reminds that the judges love to be listened to, so little tweaks and nods are necessary, or retribution will follow. Alexandria decides to replace some of her t-shirts with “slightly more special” tops. She has obviously forgotten about the time. Dom thinks Alexandria is “crazy” for undertaking that task.

I think we have seen more this year than any other of designers micro-managing their models. Choosing just the right piece for the right model, being very specific about how she should walk…I’m sure these things always happen (I would be disdainful if the designers didn’t have strong opinions about those things as parts of their looks), but we have seen more of it this time around. I think that was a compliment.

I don’t have much to say about the Billy B makeup consultation — oh, wait, I do have a couple of observations. I was waiting to see if Billy B would be there for the consultation with Justin, since I noticed that we didn’t see the two of them talking in the butterflies episode. I decided at that point that BB might be deaf-phobic, but he was front and centre for this final episode. Also front and centre was a life lesson for the rest of us from Billy B: if you absolutely must get a neck tattoo, or a tattoo that reaches up past your collar, do stay out of the sun. There’s something about overtanned old tattooed neck skin that just doesn’t scream “beauty” for me. Am I out of design school again?

Tick, tick, tick…the clock is running and we are getting to the end of the work room time on the day before the runway show. Bradon starts looking like a turkey at Thanksgiving, running back and forth because he doesn’t want to lose the time it would take to just walk. Dom finds the frantic running around irritating and we can see that it is also upsetting Justin, who may have turned off his hearing device, but can’t turn off his eyes. Then Tim comes in for a last “gather ‘round” moment and all Bradon can think to say in the side comment is about how wasteful that is of the time they have left — I think he was hoping to get in a good 10K run between his work station and the sewing room in that time. “How great is this?!” from Tim reduces them all to tears — happy, tired tears — which is most helpful for their productivity in the hour that remains.

Frantic gives way to peaceful overnight at the hotel. A little like Christmas, I might say, as the excited contestants get up early and have some reflection time before walking through the dark and quiet streets of Manhattan over to the Lincoln Centre for the show. One of them will surely get the present that s/he wants, waiting under the Lincoln Centre or Parson’s tree…

Peaceful can’t last, though. Frantic prepping underway, Tim arrives to give Justin some bad news: one of his models had broken her ankle and will have to be replaced. This with no real time to alter the garment she was supposed to wear. To those of us not “in the know” those models all look to be about the same size and shape (tiny and rail thin), but apparently they have different body types, at least in the eyes of those who are more tuned to such things. Justin’s not the only one with a setback that morning, as Bradon frets about how close the models’ food and coffee is to his clothes, right up until the moment where one of the models spills coffee down the front of the blue charmeuse gown. [Note to anyone wondering what charmeuse is about: it looks like a French word meaning charmer, but it is apparently a fabric treatment that you can do in silk (good) or polyester (what now?) and is to be pronounced “shar-moose”, at least in ‘Murrica.] Bradon frantically tries to figure out how to get the coffee stain out, apparently not even considering the Tide Pod sponsor….just saying.

The runway shows! Scan the audience first, though, and you will see a ton of friends and family members and then contestants from previous seasons, along with some from the current season (the eliminees, of course). I did not see either Sandro or Ken, so I will have to conclude that there were security guards at the door to keep them out. No models tripped and, to tell you the truth, I didn’t even see any coffee stains on Bradon’s gown, probably because I had to turn my head away from the icky floral print.

The judging started off well, with inspiring words from Heidi about how impressed they were and what a difficult task it would be to choose a winner. There were a couple of hints from Nina about who would likely not win — she wanted to see a couple more pieces from Justin that would bring a “wow” factor and she thought that Bradon’s collection was “disjointed”. We were also treated to Alexandria’s assertion that we need to stop printing phone books (I’m more on board with the statement than with the dress she made with the discarded offending items).

Then an invitation to share with the judges why each of them thought they should win. It was a tear-fest and a contest to see who had more challenges in their lives that was kind of difficult to watch:

Justin: he has been walked over all of his life because of his deafness, also hadn’t won a single challenge all season, so would like to start with this one.

Dom: she knows this is what she needs to be doing for the rest of her life and would be able to take the victory and turn it into something that matters.

Bradon: he had a 30 year career in dance that is over, thought he had nothing else until he found fashion and has come to this level of success after only 3 years.

Alexandria: she’s bankable and knows what girls want to wear, has sacrificed a lot, building two businesses from nothing, and is not there to come second. (Dangerous prediction, that!)

Designers go away for the judges’ close-up with the model muses. Here Zac really stands out for the inane comments:

• Bradon needs more experience (D’oh! He shouldn’t have pointed out that this was only year 3 of his designer career!)
• Dom doesn’t even know how sophisticated she is.
• Alexandria thinks she’s so good on the construction Z wants to see the details to pick holes in it (but can’t, as it actually is good).

They’re back for the verdict. Bradon is out, and we are not really surprised at this point. Justin is out, which kind of caught me off guard. Then we are, in Heidi’s words, “down to the two girls”. (At this point I’m remembering Alexandria’s assertion that she wasn’t there to come in second with no small amount of foreboding.) And….Dom is the winner, but all the women on the judging panel will be calling Alexandria because they want her clothes.

I appreciated Alexandria’s honesty and sincerity after the verdict. “I feel let down.” “I’m happy she won, she’s a good person. I mean that.” That was very kind of her, in her disappointment and exhaustion.

For her part, Dom had a little honesty and optimism. She’s poor, she has been working two jobs, feels like she is always working and never has time for her craft. The win, for her, changes everything. We’ll see if it gives her a better boost as a designer than it has for most of the other Project Runway winners. I’ll be hoping that what it changes is her taste in prints.

Spill it, milk company!

Unsatisfying doesn’t quite cover it. Annoying either. I would have to say that the recall of certain milk products that I heard about this morning on my radio, then on the television, then on the internet, left me feeling frustrated.

What I found in the company’s press release (by the way NOT published on their web site!) was a vague and unsatisfying direction to not consume certain products (best before dates and other identifiers included), but not explaining why. I wasn’t just driven by curiosity in all of this. No, I had just finished my breakfast with a lovely cold glass of milk and was starting to drink my morning coffee, again with milk. A quick check of the best before date and the other code confirmed that this was indeed the milk being recalled.

The problem for me is not just that I had already consumed two of the three bags of milk in the 4-litre milk pack that I had bought last week. The bigger problem is that my immune system is rather fragile and I haven’t received any indication of what might have been the problem. Should I be proactively seeking some kind of treatment to avoid bad effects of this product which “did not meet your quality standards” (from the press release). Come clean and tell us what the problem was and you will help me rebuild my trust of your product.

Oh, and your direction for me to return it to my store for a refund? Useless. I’m not willing to dig through my recycling bin to try to retrieve what might have been the receipt for it and then cart it all the way back to the store, hoping that they will refund me for an incomplete return. No, I snapped the picture above and then I dumped it. I hope the thing you are keeping from us is not something that will damage the environment as it works its way through the city’s treatment facilities.

PR12E13 Pride Goeth Before…What Again?

I’m really beginning to question the editing abilities of the Project Runway people. Oh, I’m not talking about the “editing” that the designers need to do in order to not present a train wreck on the runway (free mixed metaphor there). I’m talking about the people who cut together the show, and their uncanny ability to show us how it will turn out by what they show us along the way. Lest I join them in this defect, I will just move on and share what I saw and what it provoked in me.

This is the episode where the remaining designers go off to design their collections and Tim gets to travel around the country visiting them and their loved ones for a check-in partway through. Heidi sends them off with $9,000, six weeks to work and ten looks to create for a Spring Collection. Oh, and the first twist…one of the looks has to be made of unconventional materials! Flash forward four weeks to the Tim Across America tour…

First stop: Philadelphia PA to see Dom (and yes, we are reminded that she has her guaranteed spot already). Tim looks on in horror as someone eats macaroni and cheese, trying to make pleasant comments about it, and we find out that Dom has been working on her collection by day and hostessing in the restaurant by night. We also find out that when she got home she vegged out and watched movies, including Blade Runner, which became the inspiration for her “Retro Futurism” collection. She has very little actually done, and has been experimenting with prints that she has not yet approved for production. Tim comes down on the side of using all knits to produce the prints (versus other fabric types) and Dom is ready to get busy. Job well done, Tim.

All the way over to Los Angeles CA to visit our other designer with an assured spot, Bradon. He goes on about flowers emerging from the snow and trots out a bunch of scary floral prints that Helen later refers to as his having gone “the old lady route”. I’m not sure I disagree with her, for just this once. Tim says no such thing, though, and cheerfully goes to the beach with Bradon and his fiancé, albeit still dressed in a jacket and tie. I think Tim had enough of the costume action this season (remember the camo suit and the referee outfit?) and he will not be pushed into changing his style any more! Moving on…

He finds Alexandria looking a little rested in San Mateo CA. She tells us she is going “Edgy” “Strong” and “Modern” and proceeds to give Tim a look at the THIRTY pieces she has completed. Yes, 30. She will be making some decisions later, she assures us. She takes Tim to her Camp Couture to meet the kids. It seems the kids have helped her to weave phone books together for the unconventional materials look (someone needs to tell Alexandria that there is nothing unconventional about using child labour in fashion!), but that isn’t even the best part. They have made “ugly dolls” representing all of the people on PR this season…we mostly see the long-eliminated ones, but they also show the Tim doll, which he loves. I have to say I kind of enjoyed that, too.

Back across the country to Union City NJ to visit Helen. We get to see the print she has made from the photograph of an eye. We later find out this is her boyfriend’s eye. All in aid of her interpretation of “clairvoyant”. Okay… She shows us some capes and cape dresses, including some very red stuff, and then shows us that her unconventional material is shower mats. She takes Tim to her parents’ very lovely home and we see her oddly blond boyfriend. I’m not trying to be mean, but I never pictured that the overly tattooed goth-ish woman would have a boyfriend that blond! Let it go, Ken…

Last stop on the Tim Tour, Raleigh NC to visit Justin and his family. Around the lunch table, where some of them toast with champagne (or sparkling wine…perish the thought) and others must be recovering alcoholics because they are drinking something else from chunkier glasses, Justin shares that his sister would probably never wear anything he made…but he hopes she will change her mind eventually. Justin shows us just how clever Tim was with his official “save” of the season, as his collection is based on sound waves and reflect a progression in his life from being deaf to having the chaos of a cochlear implant to reaching a peaceful state again. Inspired.

I just have to take a moment to share my own impressions of deaf politics and the cochlear implant. There is considerable resistance to this device in the deaf community, as it is seen as an attack on their culture and an affirmation by others that they are “broken”. The politics of this are very much like LGBT politics, where there are those in our society who think we are broken and need fixing, too, and our communities include a broad range of socio-economic and cultural backgrounds, with an identity issue in common. The cochlear implant is also not without risks, as it involves giving up any residual hearing a person might have to substitute a device that translates sound into something that we hearing people would probably not recognize as sound. Justin shares with us that immediately after his operation he was frightened and angry about what the device had brought into his life. But he’s moved on from that and found peace.

So back to what he has been working on…some lovely sound-wave inspired prints and — crazy innovator — some 3D printed elements for many of his looks! His unconventional materials look is an amazing gown made of suspended test tubes (they looked plastic and pointy to me, not glass) that almost look like a crazy exotic fur. I’m thrilled that he has the gumption to select this as one of the three looks he shows the judges for the design-off with the other two contestants on the edge.

The Tim Tour takes a week, and then they have one more week before going back to the Refinery Hotel in NYC for — as we are reminded time and again — Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. As an aside, I would note that Heidi makes a point of calling it New York Fashion Week while everyone else bows to the corporate sponsor. Then again, PR is giving away a Lexus, not a Mercedes, so maybe Heidi is getting a dig in!

They get to the workroom and start slowly unwrapping their outfits, each with an eye out for what the others are revealing of their work. You know this is coming: the snark!

• Helen on Bradon: the “old lady route” comment I gave you in a sneak preview
• Bradon on Alexandria: she has so many garments she’s going to have trouble mixing, matching and styling
• Bradon and Helen on Justin: he has a “problem” with construction (note to PR editors: we know he’s going to do well with all these bitchy comments!)
• Alexandria on Helen: looks elementary, like student sewing. “She seems confident, but I think it’s a front.”
• Helen on Alexandria: “It’s a spring collection. Taupe? Taupe is not a spring colour.”
• Tim joins in on the Helen critique with respect to the “tails” she has on many outfits and shows us how they could be joined to make them look “diapery” like Gandhi

Props to Alexandria, though, as she has real admiration for Justin and supposes that his deafness makes him see the world in a different and interesting way. I feel like I’m warming to her! And with only an episode and a half left…

When Tim come into the workroom, there was a gasp and Tim had to explain that he had had an altercation with some subway stairs, a trip to the emergency room and three stitches! Maybe that’s why he got a little verklempt at the end his visit, prompting Justin also to dissolve into tears after he left. Get a hold of yourselves people! It’s just a TV show!

Oh, and one more commercial sponsor twist before we get to the showdown between Alexandria, Helen and Justin: the lady from Tide comes in to announce that all of the designers who are moving on to MBFW will have another outfit to make from a washable material that Tide pods has developed in the interest of “washable fashion”. I’m sure they will have several minutes to complete that look next time.

Runway showdown time! But first a little vocabulary showcase starring Helen, who shares that the three looks she will show the judges will give an illusion of what her collection is all about. An illusion? *sigh*

Heidi starts the show by telling us that not all of them will be able to show at NYFW. This is our first indication that someone will be eliminated. Tension up, start the show!

Justin is first. The judges actually gasp at his unconventional materials gown, and they react well to his looks…or at least everything but the hair, which Heidi and Zac both hate. Nina loves the clothes and says she is “not that disturbed” by the hair. Looking good for Justin!

Alexandria is next, and again Heidi loves them and Zac notes the lux quality and the most professional execution we have seen from her all season. Nina goes sour on this one, suggesting that the clothes look like “anything” and not really runway quality. Nina asks about the colours in the rest of the collection and Alexandria affirms that the black, white, grey and taupe in her three outfits are pretty much what is in the rest of the collection. Nina is so displeased, that things are looking a little tense for Alexandria. No tears, though.

Helen’s is a bit of a disaster. She explains that the print is from a photo of her boyfriend’s eye, but she trips over her tongue as she perceives that not one of the three judges is liking her looks. Nina even calls the wacky braids around the neck thing she did to her models “creepy” and “like they’re being hung”. The only nice thing is that Zac says her boyfriend must have nice eyes…he either likes the print or just wants to gaze into her boyfriend’s eyes. Helen on the edge! But still no tears, for a change.

They have a close-up look at the outfits and say a few more things I didn’t bother to note (gasp!) and then they call the three back out for the sentencing uh, judging. Heidi again repeats that not all of them can move on to NYFW (take that, Mercedes Benz!).

Justin is clearly the winner of this runway-off and is pronounced in. That doesn’t keep him from crying. Alexandria is also pronounced in, with an admonition to remember that she is not going to a showroom, but to the runway.

And that means that Helen, dear, confident and condescending Helen, is out. But out with a “bright future” of course. Conclusion next week, unless they manage to surprise us all with a two-part finale!

PR12E12 Butterflies and Cocoons

This episode started out — after the revisiting of the previous episode — with Heidi demonstrating a little cultural slip that was quite hilarious to a juvenile such as me. She was talking about the enticing prospect of making it to New York Fashion Week as a “sausage dangling in front of” the contestants. Germans, it seems, prefer sausages to carrots.

Another outdoorsy adventure! This time to the Sweetbriar Nature Center [it is American, so I misspell “centre” deliberately] Butterfly House. Helen is thrilled, because the fact that she has a butterfly tattoo means that this challenge is tailor-made for her! She should have learned by now that a bold prediction at the beginning of the episode is not a good sign for a contestant, and in any case it does not keep her from having her usual crisis of confidence, much to the annoyance of her fellow contestants.

So which corporate sponsor will this episode feature? None other than l’Oréal Paris itself, with consultant Billy B. on hand to hawk — you might be anticipating this — l’Oréal’s new Butterfly Mascara! It will be the avant-garde challenge, to be inspired by butterflies.

We immediately see a few of the contestants latching onto particular butterflies…Alexandria to a dark butterfly, planning to use its sadness, Justin to an albino butterfly, because it was an outsider like he is (being deaf and gay) and Helen to the Monarch butterfly, because it is “lux as hell”. Meanwhile, Bradon doesn’t even sketch, because he would rather look at the butterflies.

 Then they’re off to Mood, with a suggested budget of $500, which they all apparently compete to exceed. Dom $628. Bradon $984. Alexandria $992. Helen $1,057. And the winner, with a grand total of $1,167: Justin.

We are treated to another dazzling display of limited vocabulary on the part of the contestants as Alexandria tells us that this will be the final challenge that deciphers who is going to fashion week — I believe she meant decides or determines, but I guess neither of those sounded fancy enough. This reminds me of another failing of Kate that I neglected to mention last week… She spoke of her decision to participate in Project Runway a second time as being an indication that she is “mildly sadistic”. Now I think she probably meant masochistic, but then again, she might have been speaking of the pain she inflicted on the rest of us…

Tim’s critique gives contestants their usual consternation or encouragement:

• Dom explains her idea is based on the fact that different butterflies crossbreed. She is going to crossbreed prints by mixing them together. Time gives her a look that she has a lot of trouble interpreting.
• Helen is transforming her Monarch butterfly “lux” into an orange gown inside a black cocoon of a coat. We see Bradon call it Halloweeny and I suspect he isn’t the only one, as Helen freaks out and bursts into her [now] usual tears. Bradon mumbles something about drama and Tim exhorts her to “get out of this conundrum” and “rally, rally, rally”.
• Alexandria shows her idea for a dark and tattered cocoon-like gown and Tim likes it, calling it “goth-like”.
• Bradon shows what he has been playing with — giant fabric folds and the silk “noodles” he spent all of the previous day hand-sewing — and Tim passes through a “do you really need them?” phase before becoming a believer.
• Tim calls Justin’s fabric “inexpensive-looking” and Justin’s face falls as I gasp aloud.

This is followed by a lovely set of comments on each other’s looks, once they are all done:

• Dom on Justin’s: “My favourite!” (Hey! Where’s the cattiness?)
• Justin on Alexandria’s: “Kind of creepy.” (That’s more like it.)
• Helen on Bradon’s: “Kind of like an alien shopping bag.” (Whoa, sister, it is the avant-garde challenge!)
• Bradon on Dom’s: “Fabulous. A little worried it would be Priscilla Queen of the Desert, but it is Paris runway chic fabulous.”
• Helen on Helen’s (guess nobody else wanted to say Halloweeny again): “They want avant-garde and I am giving them another practical evening gown.” (‘Cause nothing says “practical” like an evening gown?)

Just when we think they are almost all done, they enter the workroom the next day and their mouths fall open. Overnight, some mischievous elves have rolled in all of the losing looks that have led to different contestants going home. What could it mean? Another Project Runway first, of course: two challenges will walk the runway…the avant-garde one and then the “Make it Work” challenge of selecting one of the loser looks and re-making it into a winner! They all select, reserving the drama for Justin, who tearfully selects his own losing look that led to Tim Gunn using the save on him earlier in the season. “How brave” all the others agree.

We have a little aside where Alexandria loses her calm emotionless state and dissolves into tears, needing to go Skype her “Camp Couture” kids for a shot in the arm. Either these contestants are delicate flowers or the contest is a gruelling psychological drama meant to break down all but the most hearty of designer wannabes. The prospect of the former amuses me a bit, but the latter makes me feel uneasy about the entertainment habits.

We meet the judges: Zac, Nina, Heidi and guest judge Emmy Rossum, an actress and singer who I don’t recall hearing about, but she has been in a number of films and TV series I have heard of, so…my bad. They actually separate the two challenges for the runway walk, avant-garde first, rescued look second. The two models of each contestant then join them in turn for the discussion. As usual, the positive comments are boring, the nasty ones are more fun.

Justin:

• Nina calls his avant-garde look the best work he has done all season (there were actually delighted gasps when his model took off her coat on the runway)
• All agreed that he had been brave to choose his own rejected look to salvage and that he had done an excellent job on it. Emmy wanted to wear it!

I thought it was worth showing two views of Justin’s avant-garde look so you could see it with and without the coat part. In my opinion, that white dress of his was amazing and the coat had a black version of some of the same rather intricate work. Infinitely more dress-like than Bradon’s. But I’m not the guest judge, am I?

Helen:

• Zac calls her avant-garde look a “carrot in the grater” and then tries to adapt an actual adage for the reworked look (of Kate’s from last week) by saying “simplicity is next to godliness”. Sigh.
• Nina’s contribution is “pumpkinfest”

 Alexandria:

• Heidi and Emmy both love her avant-garde look and how non-literal an interpretation of a butterfly it is, but Heidi hates the reworked look (of Miranda’s plaid), calling it like a punk costume. She does like the pants, though.
• Nina calls the avant-garde look a “butterfly stuck in a spider’s web” (she repeats this whenever anyone is listening), but gushes about how “now” the reworked look is.
• Sourpuss Zac doesn’t like either of them, but can’t think of any clever putdowns either.

Bradon:

• Nina hails two “spectacular” looks, with the avant-garde one being new and interesting from every angle.
• Heidi shouts “Halleluiah” and proclaims his avant-garde look to be art.
• Zac says he went gaga for the look, and that Gaga would wear it (and then chuckled at his own cleverness). The reworked one (of Sue’s placemat dress) was hailed as “really cool”, although I would add that he would have been eliminated from the unconventional materials challenge if he had used as much actual fabric as he did on his rework.

Dom:

• Nina loves her exuberant use of colour and Heidi loves how she plays with the volume.
• Zac makes the grande geste and proclaims “The World of Dom” adding that he “sees a brand”. He goes on to refer to the reworked outfit (of Jeremy’s Air Heidi look) as “emotional clothing”. It’s a good thing we’re coming to the end of the season, as our judges seem to be grasping for anything new to say!
• Emmy wants to wear the coat from the avant-garde look…and she tries it on at the close-up.

All the contestants are asked why they deserve to move on and which two others they see going with them. Four out of five name Dom, three name Justin, two name Bradon and one names Helen. Nobody chooses Alexandria, so she is rather upset when they get back to the waiting area. Helen, who has spent half this episode [and a number of others, too] in tears, tells her she shouldn’t be upset, because after all she has made it this far… Save it, Helen.

The conclusion is less than clear. Well, Bradon gets the win (that’s clear) and Dom also gets the first class ticket to New York Fashion Week. Then we get to the other three and we are expecting tears and drama. But the judges are nothing if not non-committal, or maybe it’s generous. The remaining three will each prepare a collection, but they will compete with each other for the final spot at New York Fashion week.

Who wants to bet that more than one of them will join the other two for the finale?