04 July 2007

Stylin' Friday: Lipodystrophy, Part I

Yeah, I know it's Wednesday, but my series is Stylin' Fridays and it has been far too long since I posted. Maybe if I'm inspired we will have two Fridays this week. Appropriately surreal, if you care to read on.

The topic of lipodystrophy is too big and too big a part of my experience of HIV for me to address it in a single entry, so I'm dividing it up — cutting it up, if you will. I'm not sure at this point how many parts it will be, so I'll just have to number them as I go along.

This first instalment, in which I try to take an "objective" look at my various symptoms (this will be inherently subjective, as it comes from my own perspective), is my own attempt to imitate the style of William S. Burroughs, as made possible by using a kooky website providing tools to assist in reconfiguring the text, in this case the "cut-up engine".

Here we go...

The world particularly on a hard chair dancing and walking — But buttocks fidgeting becomes the order of the day — On the fat loss of course leaving leg muscles impressive — It started with the legs and the incapable of comfortable sitting — They ought to start taking the same enough — The product of regular like my mother speculating that than it might be — Is not the end of buttocks — The fat melted away there is the amusement of others — Meds this part while slightly disturbing and less comfortable —

Hump-provocation as well — Change in the meds — A change be going anywhere very soon — It will always be that it didn't seems to be — Showing signs of continues to grow even after a — The neck enough to provoke appearance — A small bump atop the shoulders almost infringing on which might have been ill-advised — Then the hump started to make its panicky thoughts of what it might — In retrospect as the new choice arrive on its own and it won't a big problem — But the suspicion come to others don't see it as —

Neck fat takes away the chin — Or stomach growing but not in the way love handles — Everything being up adds another one impossible to ignore especially in profile — Extra upper back fat tightens shirts and growth spurt — The difference — No almost gives that overdeveloped front and not on the sides — But football player look I remember it growing — When slightly overweight as a teen — Before the there's more fat to come — Frontal —

Fat widening the face turns out be covered — As recently discovered to be apparently the only thing — To be another change that seemed like to this — Even if it turns out to done about this is radiation — And I can't imagine subjecting myself — Hypertrophy of the parotid glands —
Some quarters and no notable — Provoked a little more sympathy from ignoring the arrival of high blood — Extra pounds metabolic impacts — In the blood pressure accompanying the sixty — The better news in my own case is cheeks — Although these might have what has not arrived — No hollow —

(And back to regular prose)

I won't claim that all of my problems stem from my meds or from my virus. I am aware of my bad habits — sloth, over-consumption, even excessive permissiveness toward these proclivities — but I cannot take the blame for all of it. What hurts is the perception coming — surprisingly verbally — from others that this is all about me and all within my control.

More about that topic in a future episode.

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