Harpergan's Isle

(To the tune of the theme from Gilligan's Island)

He goes each year, way up north you see
He hopes to make a name
He says it's about arctic sovereignty
But in truth it's just a game, in truth it's just a game

The resignations he wants to avoid
The tightening of his grip
The ministers don't dare speak out
And if they do they're flip, their shoulders all have chips

They seem to think they're in control
The Liberals are weak
(There's no disputing this last point)
Our prospects are just bleak, not hopeless, but they're bleak

He doesn't believe in climate change
The theory's just a trick
So ask why there is no ice
And the polar bears are sick, and mosquitoes are so thick

We reserve the right to spew forth smoke
And foul the northern lands
'Cause nothing should slow down our growth
We need the old tar sands, it's all over our hands

He'll spend a bunch on bomber planes
And building prisons strong
But don't speak up for women's rights
Because you'll get the gong, 'cause women's rights are wrong

However will this sad tale end?
Is there a quick way out?
When will we all stand up to him
And kick the bastard out, he needs to cry and pout

Before he guts equality
And wrecks the evidence
Before he lets his pals buy guns
And shoot things off a fence, without any licence

Before he cancels everything
That doesn't make some cash
Before he smites his enemies
Or those whose words are brash, he'll get you in a flash

Before he rolls back time to when
We didn't care a pile
Before he comes for you, my friend
And puts you in a file, let's not see that forced smile

So go up north and just pretend
That all that water's ours
Play darned expensive army games
And accumulate powers, they feel better than flowers

But one day we will all wake up
And get a chance to vote
Here's hoping that some thought goes in
To getting Harper's goat, 'tis he who will be smote

Until that day, we watch and note
And ready for the trial
Where reckoning will come to pass
Here on Harpergan's Isle….