09 May 2010

First

I have been so busy over the last few weeks that I didn't realize that this day was coming. Now, in a brief pause in the pace of work, I have a few moments to think about it.

This is my first Mother's Day without a Mother.

I won't have any more hugs. She won't massacre me in a game of Scrabble or Crib or any of a number of card games we played either between the two of us or as some configuration of members of our family. We won't debate the issues of the day or agree on our criticisms of things that are happening around us in our society and in the world.

I'm not sitting around weeping and wringing my hands (though I am getting a little teary as I write this). Anyone who knew Mum would know that that would be the last thing she would ever have wanted. No, I'm remembering the best of our relationship and the many things that Mum did and said that will stick in my mind forever. In that sense I will always have a Mother.

I wish that seeing the rest of my family was not still three weeks away. I think I need to hug them.

2 comments:

David McHep c said...

Enjoy your time with your family. Mom's day is aways rough on me since my mom died two days after it. As soon as I saw my first Mothers' Day commercial, I thought, "Great, here we go again." Perhaps I should work hard on a trip home too. i could use a distraction after failing treatment anyway. The hardest part is getting the energy. Look after you. David

Greer said...

It was my first Mother's Day without my mother too. Mine died on March 5th. Your piece was very moving and reminded me that it's okay to cry about it. Thank you.